What is a definition?

"Son, these jeans are blue"
"No they're NOT!"

This is the fashion equivalent of trying to tell your son that his actions are selfish.
"No they're NOT!"

So when the child will not listen to calm explanations and  you are at the end of your rope, what do you do?  If you're lucky like me- you have tag out and let your partner take over.  Thus producing less RAGE.

The boy child was bugging his sister while she was tidying up the bathroom.  Wife and I could tell because of the noises they were making, becoming slowly though increasingly adversarial.

I attempted to head off the fight at the pass, by instructing the Boy Child to sit at the table with us while I worked and Bonnie Facebooked or something. 

My generously submitted advice was not readily accepted.

Instead, there was flopping on the inflatable bed set up in the living room (another story) and grunts and general malcontent.

"I wasn't even DOING anything and you made me come out here!  That's not FAIR!"
"Well son, what I HEARD was that you and your sister were ABOUT to start fighting, so rather than let that happen, I thought you should come out here while she finished picking up"
"We were NOT going to fight!  GOD!  You guys HATE ME!"
"Well son, we love you."
"Then why are you always YELLING at me?!?!"
"Brady, we didn't yell once.  I'm not even yelling now.  I'm telling you that I asked you to come out here to keep the peace."
"Keep the PEACE? Then why are you always YELLING?!?!?"
"Well I'm not yelling, I haven't yelled, but if you keep this attitude up I WILL start yelling."
"See- you all HATE ME"
"OK son, bed time.  It's almost bedtime and you're tired.  So go to bed before this gets any deeper!"
--sob sob sob--- stomp stomp stomp--- saying shit under his breath from his room----

Also during this evening after the bathroom issue with his sister, he decides that he will just go and SIT in the bathroom. Lights off.  Just sit.  When we say "come out of the bathroom, it's not a play area" we are yelling at him again.

So- let's talk about this whole "definition" thing again.

"It's not a play area"
"All I'm doing is sitting"
"OK, it's not a sitting area. There are germs on the toilet.  You can sit in your room, or on the couch, or someplace else.  It's Not. A. Sitting. Area."
"Yes it is"

GAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Ah, good times.

BUT WAIT!  THERE'S MORE!

Now the girl child decides that these flying massive mosquito looking like things are going to fly into her mouth while she's asleep and she can't sleep in her room. And- sobbing. No amount of research on the google, or reassurances that they don't want anything to do with her, will convince her that she will live through the night. This is the end of her life- cut short by a 2 gram flying insect.

The boy child gets wind of this and now suddenly he can't sleep in his room either.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!??!?

Yes, I realize that for him it's a power play to sleep in the living room.  Despite my assurances that the OPEN DOORS in the living room mean MORE chance for these things to fly in, he was convinced that he could not possibly sleep in his room.

Of course.

So, mommy finally worked it out with him, partly by doing a "sweep" of the room to ensure that no flying bugs were actually IN his room, and by a sly comment "your dad is about to lose his shit- you better go to sleep now"

Whatevz.  Just goes to show ya-

Oh I have no idea what it goes to show you.  Just go to bed, dammit.