Meds. Sometimes, it's the only solution.

(Recycle Bin update- No. Trash can- out the night before!  WOOHOO! Thanks mommy...)

We are now in the 6th week of school. This is when Parent/Teacher Conferences happen.

Yes, we had the "prelude to Teacher Conferences" last week when we learned about the 62% in math.  If only that had been the worst part, I would have been THRILLED!

The teacher thinks that the reason the Boy child has math problems is because that lesson is taught in the morning. 

Symptoms of the not- focusing in the morning problem, as outlined by Teacher:

1- "Shadowing" the teacher.  This is when Boy child gets out of his chair, stands behind teacher, and walks around the room behind her as she teaches.  YES.  I'M SERIOUS.
2- Breakdown. This is when the boy child gets upset at being told to sit down, and starts to cry. In 5th grade. Because he is told to sit down.
3- Zoning Out. The boy child will put his head down in the desk on his arms and completely remove himself from the lesson.  Other children are looking at the overhead projector info, interacting and answering questions, and he just sits there completely detached.

The Boy took standardized tests the first day of school, they call them "baseline" tests to see how they retained lessons from the previous year.

In Math the Boy scored a 12.  Average was an 8.  So... yeah. Clearly it's not ability or a learning disability.

In reading, he read 148 WPM, average is 108

In reading comprehension... not so outstanding- pretty much just below the average.  Which isn't indicative of a PROBLEM just a need for a little more focus.

The boy STILL tells me he likes his teacher.  "She's the BEST!!!" OK... so... then why are you treating her like a babysitter?

The result was that I removed his closet doors from his closet.  Sometimes he goes in the closet to "hide" when he's in trouble.  Also, a bunch of clothes and toys and crap.  So this combination results in the closet doors being forced off the tracks on a weekly basis.  Solution- no more doors.

I took a 2x2 and cut it in half.  The Boy Child's toy-box is an Ikea bookshelf with bins in it.  I fastened the 2x2's across the bins and screwed it to the bookshelf frame.  No more toys.

Ipod, Nintendo DS, etc are now in a small toolbox with a lock on it, in my room.

I took a rubbermaid container and "swept" the entire contents of his desk, into the bin.  This consisted of some broken toys, about 8,000,000,000 pens, markers, crayons, pencils, erasers, etc. and a couple of magazines. Distractions- eliminated.

And, you wonder, after 2 days, what is the apparent result?

No change.  Exactly the same behavior, every day.

Refusing to pick his clothes up off the floor, 3 hours of sitting at his desk NOT doing his homework. Waking up early each morning to NOT finish what didn't get done the night prior.

It's like the boy WANTS to be miserable.  Seriously.

---EDIT---

OH!  I forgot another GEM!

We started the conference with the teacher asking if Boy had told me about the Reflection Paper he received the day before.  Why NO, Teacher lady, please enlighten me as to why the Boy had to write a Reflection Paper... Now Boy child, why have you NOT told me about this? "I forgot"

Remember, though I may SAY things like "Time to beat the children"... I do not, in fact, beat the children. This blog is a place for me to VENT my frustrations while NOT putting the fear of non-god into my precious babies.

Though some days, I do yell more than I like.

Sunday. Bloody Sunday.

Yesterday was the end of the Olympics.

I, personally, am not a fan.  The other 3 members of my family are.

So- with closing ceremonies Sunday night, the children clearly want to watch the entire thing.

I'm not opposed to the children staying up late, past their bed-time of 8:00 weeknights.  The problem is Monday morning.

As I've mentioned, they are usually wrecked on Sunday night.  This week was no different. 

--- oops!  I never finished this one.  "Save to draft" be DAMNED! ---

So they watched the closing ceremonies till 9. They were  wreck the next morning.  It sucked.

Thanks for reading!  :)

It's Teacher Conference Time!

Yes, sports fans, it's teacher conference time.

Now I do realize that many of you have not yet begun the school year.  I get that. So considering conferences already seems a bit bizarre.

Next Tuesday August 28th is conference day for the Boy Child.

---sidenote--- the Girl Child's conferences are today. She did not have a conference scheduled because she is getting all A's except for one 89.6% in Social Studies. ---end sidenote--

The teacher sent home grades today in preparation for conferences.

You all DO see this coming, right?

Like a freight train?

Good then, on with the disaster...

So the Boy is getting a 62% in math.

Every night it's a battle with the Practice work (teacher doesn't call it homework) ALL the Practice work is assigned class time to complete.  Teacher says that half the kids NEVER have homework because they finish it in class. Never. And we battle for 4 hours EVERY DAY to get it done.

<<insert expletives here>>>

It's absolutely draining. 

BUT- back to the 62%.

I downloaded additional practice work for him to do. Because if you are getting a 62%, you need to practice more. 

He first fell on the floor and cried out the favorite cry of children aged 5 to 13... "NO FAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRR!!!!"

Then he collected himself and finished the extra work in about 5 minutes.

Now, dear reader, why, preytell, would this lovely child have a miraculous recovery and finish his homework in such a speedy manner when it is so contrary to the typical behavior of this poor downtrodden soul?

Well obviously because his friends had been knocking on the front door to see if he could play!  At least oh... 10 times? Between knocks and repeated phone calls.  Yep- 10 is right.

SO- even though he doesn't usually give a crap if he has to stay in the house for the entire evening, as long as he DOESN'T have to do his homework, this time he raced through it.  And I checked it.  Then I made him correct his errors.  Which were very few.  And out the door he went.

When you have a 9 year old boy in 5th grade, it absolutely breaks your heart that he is in the house, miserable, not playing with his buddies.  It does!  Totally!  And the boy isn't wanting to sit and play video games.  He wants to play outside. He NEEDS to play outside. --I-- want him to play outside!

So for him to get his PRACTICE work done, AND his extra work done, AND get to go outside... Today did not suck. Magically.

And other tingz-
1) the girl's grades are available in an App. Yes. As in I had to install an app.
2) we have gotten up at 5:30 for the 8:00 bus this week (Monday and Tuesday) because we didn't finish his homework before bedtime
3) the chillrinz go to bed at 8:00 every school night. No. Matter. What. (except that whole "Olympics" thing I mentioned)
4) the Recycle bin did NOT get put out on Monday. Up-side= there was no trashcan in the neighbor's yard either! :D

Yes, Again.

Monday is recycle bin days, Thursday is trash day.

We have 2 big bins with wheels, located behind the gate to the back yard, per HOA regulations.

Boy Child's ONLY chore is to take out the trash, and take the cans to the street, then put them away.

Monday, as he is heading out to the bus stop- "Boy! Please take out the recycle can" So he does.  Well, I see that there is still the bag in the house which needs to go out.  Fine.  I've got it, no big.  Well as I go out, I notice that despite carefully replacing the brick to keep the gate from opening, he has left the Trash can in the middle of the neighbor's yard.

This is his thought- "Well, I'm just going to be moving it again in 9 hours, so why put it back behind the gate, then take it out again just to put the recycle bin away?"

I get it.  You're lazy.

And you don't have any respect for anyone else or any thing.

Luckily, he was still at the curb with the Recycle bin and I could say "Hey, Boy! Why is the treash can in the middle of Judy's yard?" and then he could say "OOOhhhhhhh... I forgot"

Very convenient.

Flash forward to today.

The boy leaves for school. Doesn't close the front door (remember, it's already 90 degrees out at 8 AM so the A/C is on)  Before he is out of earshot, I shout "BOY!  Come back and close the door, for fuck's sake!" (yes. I did.)

He closes the front door. Then I realize- he didn't take the trash to the curb.

I go to the door. He's at the edge of the yard.  I say to him...
Me: "BOY!  Did you notice anything strange out here when you walked out the door?"
BC: "Um... OH!  It's TRASH day!" -immediately.

So he knew it was trash day. He just decided to not do it until I called him on it.  I LOVE that.

On goes the morning, I get the kitchen cleaned up, I get the girl child off to school, and I head out to my car.

There is the MOTHER FUCKING RECYCLE BIN in the neighbor's yard, with the brick carefully replaced in front of the gate.

Good times... good times...

Curriculum night

OK, the boy child is in 5th grade.  His teacher is young, progressive, and very intelligent.  I dig her teaching style.

Basically, she is anti-punishment, divides the class into 3 groups based on work ethic/motivation, and encourages the kids to learn in their own way.

The problem is that my kid thinks this is a blank check to screw around instead of doing his work!

She doesn't assign homework.  She gives "practice work" in class and if it's completed in class, then there is no homework.

SO- if I ask the boy child, "Do you have any homework?" his answer is always "No"

Even if he has 5 pages to do.

Because they are NOT homework, they're just practice work which he didn't finish in class, but needs to finish at home.

It's not CALLED homework. 

This is how my child thinks.

So last night his practice work was the circulatory system. I did the respirator system with him for an hour the night before, so this makes sense.

What does NOT make sense is this-
BC: "She never taught us this!"
Me: "At all?"
BC: "Nooohooooooooo..."
Me: "I find it hard to believe that YOUR teacher would send you home with 2 pages of homework"
BC (interrupting): "But it's NOT homework, Dad! Gahhhh..."
Me (patient): "Ok, PRACTICE work. Whatever. That you have never been taught this?"
BC: "Well, we had Silent Reading time and she said that she forgot to teach it, so we should get out the paper and she would give us the answers to write down."
Me: "OK, so what happened?"
BC: "Well I decided to read instead."
Me: "Well FUCK MY LIFE" (not really)

ALSO it was clarinet getting day.  Went to the music store, rented the clarinet, etc etc.

Since for 3 hours he did not answer one answer on his PRACTICE work, he had to get up at 6 AM instead of 7 to complete it.

Well, at 6:05 my alarm went off and I went to check on him. SURPRISE!  He was dressed! And clearly wide awake.

And playing with his clarinet. That is to say, putting it together and taking it apart, over and over.

Perfect.

BC: "Can I use the netbook d finish my homework?"
Me: "Sure."
---exit Me, to shower and get dressed for work---
--- return Me ---
Me: "Are you done?"
BC: "Um, no- I'm watching videos."

And this is my life