Good Stuff Meynard!

The boy child wanted to get up and take his showers in the morning.  So I said "You already have a hard time getting up and ready fr school.  If you can get up at 6:45 for 2 weeks straight, you can take your shower in the morning AFTER the 2 weeks."

Well my gosh, if he didn't do it!

Now we are faced with the prospect of 4 people trying to take showers in 2 bathrooms, using all the hot water.

I mean that's not HIS fault, but- he did accomplish his goal!  Way to go Boy Child!

Oh boy. I say Why Why Why

DJ TURN IT UP!

Ke$ha radio is on pandora- it just seemed like the right thing to say.

Would you like to hear more about the saga of the missing homework? Fantastic.  Settle in with a cup of cocoa and curl up under a blanket by the fire- I've got a doozie for ya.

The missing assignments were completed in relatively good fashion, in good time, with little push-back from the child.

(Now- if this was the story, that would be a nice little Sunday morning upifting tale, wouldn't it?)

Except for 2

2 Science sheets

It took about a week from the time we got the assignment sheet until teacher got the extra copies of the assignments for the Boy.

Every day, we said "did you bring the science sheets home?"  Every day the boy said "I forgot"

Every day this week, we'd remind him to bring it home before he left to school.

Every day, he'd forget.

Friday the straw broke the camels' back.

Also on Friday was the school shooting in Connecticut.

Mommy was both pissed about the missing assignments and thinking "LOVE YOUR BABIES!"  at the same time.  It was a difficult afternoon.

This explains why the boy got to go to a  sleepover, even though he was supposed to be grounded.

Saturday morning, mommy and daddy had a debate.  Mostly it was daddy saying that the boy child needed to be super ultra grounded and mommy trying to talk him off the cliff.

Today is the boy's birthday.  Obviously we'll shower him with gifts.

He is a sweet, kind boy who has absolutely no regard for responsibilities. This is a thing, right?

Trash Can Update: Took the trash can to the curb after being asked and ignoring the chore list to do the wastebaskets on Wednesday night.  As mom drove away, she called me and asked me to remove the recycle bin from the neighbor's front yard and CLOSE THE GATE so the dog wouldn't run all over the park while everyone was at work. Good times

Chore chart update: Moderate success.  I notice that a few of the items haven't been done at all. 

End of Days

Last week I was thinking how great the boy has been doing in school since fall break.  He has had very little homework, leading me to believe that he has been finishing his work in class.

WRONG, SUCKER!

I had been struggling as a parent with patience and trying to get through to him this weekend, so I listened to a couple of parenting podcasts (you already read that...) and I decided "You know, Teacher has been really doing a great job.  I should send her a thank you email."

Which was replied to with "Coincidentally, I just gave Boy Child a list of the 14 assignments he has not completed since fall break.  He needs to complete them by the 19th or he will get zeroes on them and will most certainly fail the subject.  Have a  nice day! OH, wait- one more thing.  He got a Reflection Paper yesterday, so please be sure he returns it."

Siiiiiighhhhhhhh....

Yes.  The entire time when we had been asking "Did you finish your homework?" he was saying "YES!" :D when indeed the answer was "No" :(

Why hadn't we seen the reflection paper or the list of missing assignments she had sent home? "I forgot them in my desk"

OF

Course

Since I was working, PU2 (Parental Unit 2) had the unenviable task of discussing this with the boy when he got off the bus.  Oh, I'm sure it was a sight to see.

Though she was angelic and drippingly sweet in her tone while discussing this, there were instant tears and denial and of course excuses.

Then came the heartstrings "I'm afraid I might fail 5th grade and you guys won't love me"

It's tough to hear, of course.  It's also tough to decode.  On the one hand, he's a sensitive little guy.  On the other, he is manipulative and knows exactly what to say to drive that knife.

I tend to err on the side of forgiveness, so anyways we will be working with him for the next 11 days to get all the assignments done.  And reinforcing that no matter what he does, we will love him.  We may be disappointed, we may not like what he does, and he may be in trouble.  But we still love him.

(AND we'll still start sentences with prepositions.  But no matter what you do, you can't stop me.)

Sunday pretty crappy Sunday

The boy.  Oh the boy.

Today was a doozy.  We woke up LATE- 10AM.  Blame it on the midnight Guitar Hero with the kids if you'd like.  That's MY story anyways.

The girl had cleaned the entire house.  She had a 102 fever all day on Saturday, but she felt better nad cleaned the ENTIRE. HOUSE.

The boy had a friend spend the night last night.  We woke up to them arguing over what to play.  Within 5 minutes of waking up, we had the Boy Child telling his friend "You came over here to interact with other people, not just play with one toy!"

He has a pogo stick. He cherishes the pogo stick.  It's like... the blue skinny jeans that he wants to wear every day.  He is obsessed.  And he doesn't want anyone else to use it.  Even if he had 2 broken legs and couldn't pogo, he'd refuse to let anyone else use it.

So- it got worked out, then yada yada... The girl's friend came over and asked to use the Boy Child's bike.  He said, of course, "No", even though he and his friend were inside playing Legos.

I kinda lost it. I was really really pissed after struggling with him for about 3 hours and I went too far.

So Momma Bear stepped in and helped by talking to him rationally, etc.

What I need to do is recognize when he's in this --head-- he gets into, and prepare myself better to deal with him. Rationally.

SO- I had to go to work.  Of course as I left, I was a mix of pissed off at him and myself.  However, as I drove the calm overtook me and I was able to think more carefully about the entire situation.  I also was listening to In The Rabbit Hole podcast's episode about homeschooling, so it helped me think about how to give more to the children than I do now.

It was uplifting.  When I got home (it was only like 3 hours) I was better able to  deal with the boy child who was still in his funk.

Tomorrow is another day, and I know that I can do better for him.

Chore Chart update: The girl has finished her first Punch Card for cash.  The boy despises the chore chart.

Trash Can update: Still have to remind him to bring the can IN after school, and take the trash out every day. This week, he proposed that because there was only one bag in the recycle bin, he didn't need to take it to the curb.  Sounded rational to me.

Chore Chart Experiment- Day 1

OK, the chore chart has been through its first morning and we're on track.  As a matter of fact, Maggie cleaned out the entire kitchen cart, wiped it out, ad re-organized it so she could get her first "punch" on her card.

Brady gave the fish tank 3x as much food as it needed, but otherwise everything went well.  This is even with his bus schedule moving 10 minutes earlier.  AMAZING!

So- the expectations are there, they are simple to track, and everyone knows what they are ahead of time.

"Hope springs eternal in the human breast..."

The chore chart spreadsheet is here:
Click for AWESOMENESS

OH!  The Punch Card "bonus list" is at THIS link

Chore Day

I saw Pinterest yesterday.

Frankly, I hadn't been there in 3 month, though I love it.

Somehow, I got into a vortex of kids' chores lists.

Today we did chores. Everyone except the boy contributed fairly.

My contribution right now is making a chore list- it's a spreadsheet which is, to be fair, AWESOME.

The bonus part is the punch card.

The children each had birthday parties to go to this weekend, which meant I had to buy presents.  Now, I understand this is part of parenting. HOWEVER, since the children don't contribute enough to household maintenance, I would like to leverage this into a benefit. 

I have added a list of "punch card" items, for which the children can earn punches on an adorable business card (like the ones at the guys' haircut places, but cute) that they keep track of.  When they accomplish one of the tasks on the list, they get a punch on the card.  When ten punches are accumulated, they get $10.

The Girl child is thrilled, and already has 4 cards planned out.

The Boy child is skeptical.

I'm excited!

Can anyone explain?

Why is it that the clothes are such an issue for the boy?

He picks the clothes out at the store.

He has relative freedom to choose his clothes for school

EVERY
   SINGLE
      MORNING
         SUCKS

Perfectly good clothes he chose at the store, he no longer "likes" and with a PILE of clothes in the middle of the floor, I hear "But I can't find anything I want to wear!"

AARGH!!!!

Then the yelling, the crying, and the stress.  Well, actually, all that started about... almost 10 years ago. So I guess if it wasn't the clothes, it'd be something else.

On the other hand,  I was reminded by a friend on facebook-

I just try remembering that.  Every minute.  Remember- --I-- am responsible for encouraging his creativity.

Get dressed, PLEASE!

This is the Boy's M.O.:

1) Wake Up
2) Wrap up in Star Wars Blanket
3) Wander house like zombie for 15 minutes
4) Try to get dressed in the same clothes he wore yesterday

Today, he broke the mold.

First, he came in my room to sleep because he had a bad dream.  (Which wasn't a big deal because BonBon wasn't home last night.) Then he didn't want to wake up.  Then instead of getting dressed he sat in his chair, "pondering" what to wear.

The Boy has this thing about wearing inappropriate clothes relative to the weather. In summer, it's his favorite hoodie and jeans.  For the last 2 weeks, it has been shorts.  Because, of course, it has turned from highs in the 90's to highs in the 70's.  So naturally he'd want to start wearing shorts, right?

Today his choice was also a bit confounding: a long sleeve white button down dress shirt, some green cargo shorts, and electric blue tennies with yellow laces.

Yes, son.  Looking good.

I did get him to change his shorts to jeans.

Must have been my lucky day.

(Recycle bin- still in the street...)

Homeschooling HaHa's

I do not homeschool my children, though I think it makes total sense.  It's just not in the cards for our family.

The Girl child REALLY wants to homeschool.  Keep in mind, she gets straight A's.  She is socially adept and has many friends and is in clubs and activities.  When asked "What do you think about homeschooling?" She practically JUMPED out of her chair BEGGING to be homeschooled.  "We waste SO much time at school. I mean, I could have all that done in two hours if we didn't have to move from one class to the other and deal with sitting down, unpacking our books all the time, kids interrupting and everything"

MY friend who DOES homeschool his kids, posted this on FB for me.  I thought it was so funny, it had to be shared:

1 Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?

2 Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up th

e way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3 Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

4 Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.

5 If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.

6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

7 We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

8 Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.

9 Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.

10 We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11 Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

12 If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

13 Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.

14 Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.

15 Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.

16 Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.

17 Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.

18 If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19 Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20 Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

21 Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.

22 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.

23 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

24 Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25 Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

What to do, what to do...

So, anyone have an answer of what to do with the Boy child?

He is super lazy.  His grades are poor.  He argues and refuses to listen to the most simple of directions. 

"Boy, go play with you friend at the park"
"But there's nothing to do"
 "You're at the park.  Run. Jump. Climb"
"But we're bored"
"That's because you're not running, jumping, or climbing!"
"But we don't want to"
"OK, go get a ball and a stick.  Or your bikes.  Or a frisbee.  Or  a kite."
"UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH It' so BORING!"

If you tell me "He'll be better in 15-20 years. Just be patient" I may kill someone. 

That person is, as of now, undetermined.

Blackberry Users

Plato said "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." This is particularly true if you meet someone using a BlackBerry, perhaps the hardest of all battles. But they don't deserve pity. Around BlackBerry users, we must remember manners, courtesy, and a few basic rules of kindness.

Don't be a snob.

Gadget snobbery is never OK. It's ignorant and obnoxious to tell someone they're a bad person because of a phone (unless that phone is a Galaxy Note). Within the rest of the handset nebula, you should let your fellow man stand by his choice.

But BlackBerry owners are different. They were once a haughty, QWERTY-clutching elite—bankers, lawyers, Illuminati chairmen, Yale professors, and various other broad-jawed goons from the corridors of power. No more. The RIM faithful are the people who got left out of the doomsday vault—the Japanese soldiers still wandering around the jungle waiting to snipe GIs. They're at a point beneath teasing. We need to start giving them sympathy. We have to coexist.

It's probably not their fault.

Your typical BlackBerry user doesn't use it because they want to—they use it because they have to. Maybe their Paleolithic employer probably requires it—it's still a requisite for modern business in someone's faded brain. Or maybe they can't afford a new phone. Or maybe they really, really love a good keyboard, which can't be found elsewhere. Maybe they're chained to a family plan. The point is: They have no other options.

So you can't fault someone for using a BlackBerry, because nobody really wants to be using a BlackBerry. Have you ever made fun of someone for using a wheelchair? Probably not. If you have, you're awful.

Don't ask.

"Dude, you're still using a BlackBerry?"

Yeah, they are, dickhead. You know they are. Highlighting the misfortune of others isn't going to get anyone to make out with you. And a BlackBerry user isn't going to change their ways because of your ridicule. They know they have a BlackBerry. Whatever the reason is, it's their business. When they make a call, just look away, and try to smile.

Don't stare.

Unless it's on a hip-holster, in which case, walk away.

Compliment BBM.

RIM still has one thing going for it: BBM is the best phone messaging system of all time. It makes iMessage look like a poopy diaper. Giving your friend's 'Berry the respect it deserves for instant, reliable phone IMing is a good way to establish common ground. Sample conversation:

You: "Oh, man, I wish my phone had BBM. It's still the best."
Them: "Thanks. But I want to die."

Loan your phone.

When you see someone pushing a busted bicycle along the side of a dark, muddy road, you don't just leave them there. You give them a ride. Open your door—this is a metaphor—and let a BB user borrow your phone for a second. Sample conversation:

Them: "Hey, do you mind if I check the Orioles score? I'm following them in the World Series."
You: "Um, sure!"

Share what luxury you have. Let them use your phone's snappy browser. For a moment, you both feel content. Until they learn the truth about the Flock.

Be sympathetic.

Be understanding. Be generous. Be nice. Because someday, you might be on the bottom rung of the social ladder, still clinging to your hopelessly outdated old iPhone.

Photo: Brian Ach/Getty

User Manual is Gizmodo's guide to etiquette. It appears as if by magic every Friday.

Ying and Yang

I suppose this is how it goes.

Yesterday, the Girl child was in a pissy mood, fighting with her brother (unprovoked, even!)

This morning, she is up half an hour early, dressed already when I wake up.

The boy's teacher sent "make up work" home with him last night.  Of course, we ask the Boy, "Are you done with your homework?" his answer is "YES! Can I go play at the park?!?!"

Well, clearly he doesn't consider the "make up work", "homework"  Because the teacher didn't hand it to him and say "Brady, this is HOMEWORK"

Well, I got an email outlining his make-up assignment and asked him about it.  He had completed one of the 7 assignments.

Keep in mind, Fall break starts in 2 days.  Meaning quarter grades are due today.

SO- she gave him a GIFT by letting him make up the assignments at all.

WELL- the girl child realized that there was tension and the boy had to do the make up work this morning.

So what did she do?
She made eggs for breakfast.
She made lunch for the Boy.
She took out the trash for the Boy.
She took the trash can to the CURB for the boy.

All of this without being asked to do any of it.

Mommy was saying goodbye and said "So, being so helpful, huh?  What do you want?  There's got to be an agenda here."

The Girl child's reply: "Just to survive another day."

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!  Classic

Also-
"Boy child, where is your lunchbag?"
"Oh, one is in my classroom because I forgot it last week, and one is... well I PUT it on the table my the TV, but it's not there.  SOMEONE must have moved it. I don't know- but I put it right there! JEEEEZZZ!"

As you can probably surmise, the table next to the TV is NOT where lunchbags go.  They go in the kitchen.  By all the LUNCH stuff.

Crazy me.

Everyone go out and have children now, OK? OK! :-@

This part sucks

So we arrive to pick the children up from Grandma and Grandpa's.

The children played secret agent all day, and my dad taught them how a criminal syndicate is organized, how to "turn" a person in the organization, and what blackmail is, and how to use it to force people to give you information.

That is frikin hilarious.

So as we arrive and start talking, the children decide they are going to play hide and seek with us, though we are having conversations.

They were found immediately.

Then, in the car on the way home, the boy was all excited, we told him to calm down, and as we pulled into the driveway, he was flailing his arms and poked his sister in the eye.

So I told him that is what happens when we tell him for 15 minutes, to calm down and he doesn't listen.  Then the next day the same thing happens.  And the next day and the next.  Same action, same result.

Then it was shower time.  He didn't want to.  He started yelling.  He locked the bathroom door. Wife had to tell him to unlock the door, and tell him to get in the shower.

5 minutes later, the water is still not on.

She goes in to check, and the boy is crying.  Why?  she asks... "I have to be honest mommy, I didn't wear the white socks and I didn't use the lotion on my feet.  And my feet are still peeling."  Hug hug, reinforce reinforce,  love, get in shower.

The typical getting in bed crap happens, and at "tuck in time", he says to Wife that we love his sister more.  Because she gets good grades and doesn't get in trouble at school.

So- my question is not whether I love one or the other more- I love them both equally.

However, my interaction with him is more difficult.  That's true.  I have to reinforce with him, the ways to behave toward other people.  It's FAR more difficult.  I want him to be a good adult, a fulfilled kid who can play and have fun with other kids.

I also NEED him to listen to the lessons I try teaching him.  Which is the biggest problem.

He simply "forgets" or ignores from one day to the next.  I can tell him... "Boy Child, brush your teeth with a toothbrush.  Using a Q-tip doesn't accomplish the task, because it doesn't hold the toothpaste well, and also doesn't get in between the crevices in your teeth.  A Toothbrush is specifically designed to clean your teeth properly.  So can you use the toothbrush from now on, and we can use the q-tip to clean between your toes instead."

"Sure dad. WhatEVER. "

"Ok, cool.  thanks"

Next day- Q-tip toothbrush.  Seriously.

It's not that big a deal.  It's not difficult, it's not that I'm asking for much- it's just constant ignoring and reinforcing the same thing over and over, and being ignored.

It's MADDENING.

Now- remember, WRAP THAT SHIT!

This part Rules

These children.

Seriously.

This picture came to my phone while my wife and I were on our weekend getaway to Tucson.  The kids had a weekend with the grandparents.

The accompanying text was:

"Daaaaddddd! This is Mr Margaret Bauman.  I would like to inform you that I am a gentleman.  Please acknowledge this.  Best Regards.  Mr Margaret Bauman"

How adorable is that?!?!?

Then, she followed up with

"Great.  We have a meeting at 6:00 sharp. You need to pick me up from 1234 S Crystal Way in Chandler Arizona.  I will have dinner all ready. If you have any questions or concerns, please text me back.  Text me back anyways.  Mr Margaret Bauman."

next:

"This is Mr Brady Bauman and I am Mr Margaret Bauman's lawyer.  I look forward to seeing you tonight."

Good times.  Good times.

There is your feel good story. Enjoy.

Obsessions

Last Sunday I took the Boy child shopping for clothes.

This is always a stressful thing for the parent units to do.  Not because the act itself is difficult, but because we know that it will result in a new obsession for the Boy child.

This time was no different.

We bought some red jeans at Old Navy.

Red jeans- they are kindof silly, but who cares.

Since it's 100 degrees out, you'd think the Boy would want to wear shorts, right?  Wrong.

He has this thing where it's shorts in winter and jeans all summer long.  He would wear jeans every single day if we let him.  In 116 degree weather, the boy wants to wear jeans.  When it's 60 degrees out, he wants to wear shorts.

ALSO, he is now obsessed with the red jeans.  He wants to wear them every single day.  In fact, today (Sunday) the FIRST thing he said when he woke up, was "Can I wear my red jeans today?"

The problem with that is-
1) It's going to be 100 degrees out today
2) He's going to be playing at the park and the jeans will get WRECKED
3) If he wears them today, he will be pissed off that he can't wear them to school tomorrow.

He had a friend spend the night last night, so despite my calm attempt to explain why he should wear shorts today, he stormed off, slammed the door, and went and hid in his closet.

Remember how I took the closet door off a couple of weeks ago?  He now scrunches up in the corner of the closet and pulls the dirty clothes hamper in front of him to hide.

Just keep swimming swimming swimming....

HAPPY NEWS!

Ok, I fell for the sensationalist news media trick. BIG IMPORTANT HEADLINE!!! LOOK! LOOK!

So anyways...

Bonnie is at a work conference overnight tonight.  So last night I made a crock pot.  THAT's right- I even planned AHEAD!

This morning was a bit chaotic.  Getting B out to her conference, the Girl Child had to take a shower, the Boy Child was fine, but having an ADD morning.  No big.

I got the already prepared crock pot out of the fridge where I had properly thawed the meat overnight in the fridge :)

I turned the crock pot on low.

SO- is low, enough to cook a crock pot, in 10 hours?  I think so.

What you will notice, is that I never plugged the crock pot in.

It sat all day on the counter.  What does this mean?  It all goes in the trash.

Sad News!

Since the fridge is recently cleaned out, I didn't really have many options.  I mean, I had a plan in place for goodness sake!

And, I had to get a haircut.

The boy was at his friend's house playing (since he finished his homework rapidly and accurately) and the girl was working on her homework, which was plentiful.

I called the Girl Child when I got to the grocery store and asked if she noticed anything we needed for the kids' lunches, etc.  Everything was fine on that front, but when I told her I was going to get rice noodles, veggies, and chicken to make a stir-fry, she immediately said "No DAD!  I was looking at recipes on line yesterday, and I have a PERFECT Dinner!  Let me look up the recipe... no wait, I wrote it down already, so... Oh!  Here it is.  Ready?"

She proceeded to tell me the recipe for the Rotisserie chicken salad and side of homemade hummus.

I mean really.  Really?

The salad was delicious.  We followed the recipe, using their suggestion to substitute peanut butter for tahini in the hummus.  I... um... do not suggest you try this.  Unless you have a kid who insists on eating peanut butter, and you're trying to trick them into eating hummus.  Because it's quite peanut-buttery.

Still- we had a great dinner, very nutritious, and no preservatives.  All fresh, all yummy.

The email:

I need 

1 can garbanzo beans
peanut butter
lemons
parsley
red wine vinegar
cucumber
tomato
kalamata olives
romaine lettuce
baby spinach

viola! that's it! the recipe is pretty much just make a really easy hummus, and make a quick salad, shred the  chicken and bada bing bada boom! ya got yourself a  nice dinner made by chef Maggie!

There ya go Christine ;)

Teacher Replies to Letter

So, you recall the post from a few days ago about my letter to the teacher.

She did reply.

You deserve to know the truth:

Good afternoon, 

       Brady's behavior was on and off - he has still been shouting out, making gestures and noises, etc. but he had more control over it toward the end of the week and was apologizing rather than arguing. I was out due to illness last Friday and the sub left a note that Brady had been disrespectful - refusing to do an assignment she had given him. Yesterday he began respectfully but then began arguing with another student and trying to argue with me when I reprimanded him. He started off today much better. I'll keep working with him on this and reinforcing what is appropriate and inappropriate in the classroom. So far so good today. I will keep you posted.

Thank you,

Teacher Lady <name withheld>

Yes, he got another reflection paper. Yes it took him 3 hours to write.

The unexpected twist, is that the teacher sent it BACK with him and said he needed to REDO the reflection paper.  Not enough content.

And the beat goes on...

Take your wins where you can find them

At least it got put out yesterday, right?

Today's Letter to the Teacher

Hello Ms. Singh,

Good morning!

Can you please tell me how last week went for Brady?  I know it was a short week since we spoke- Wednesday and Thursday, but did he behave well?

Also, he cannot find his favorite black jeans, so he was a bit upset this morning. Just a heads up. 

I did let him have his left over Doritos in his lunch, so hopefully that helps.  Also, I'm riding my bike to school with him which should help him be happier.

Yesterday one of the other girls from class was at the park and she was playing around and Brady got hit in the head with her guinea pig's bag.  He immediately said that he thought he got lice from the bag.  (he had lice in 3rd grade)  He was obsessed with the idea, so I asked if he wanted me to shave his head, which I did. This is completely in his mind- there were no bugs of any sort, so if he starts talking about getting lice, it is NOT real.

Steak and eggs for breakfast- BRAIN FOOD!

Thanks so much, have a lovely day!

Andrew Bauman

Meds. Sometimes, it's the only solution.

(Recycle Bin update- No. Trash can- out the night before!  WOOHOO! Thanks mommy...)

We are now in the 6th week of school. This is when Parent/Teacher Conferences happen.

Yes, we had the "prelude to Teacher Conferences" last week when we learned about the 62% in math.  If only that had been the worst part, I would have been THRILLED!

The teacher thinks that the reason the Boy child has math problems is because that lesson is taught in the morning. 

Symptoms of the not- focusing in the morning problem, as outlined by Teacher:

1- "Shadowing" the teacher.  This is when Boy child gets out of his chair, stands behind teacher, and walks around the room behind her as she teaches.  YES.  I'M SERIOUS.
2- Breakdown. This is when the boy child gets upset at being told to sit down, and starts to cry. In 5th grade. Because he is told to sit down.
3- Zoning Out. The boy child will put his head down in the desk on his arms and completely remove himself from the lesson.  Other children are looking at the overhead projector info, interacting and answering questions, and he just sits there completely detached.

The Boy took standardized tests the first day of school, they call them "baseline" tests to see how they retained lessons from the previous year.

In Math the Boy scored a 12.  Average was an 8.  So... yeah. Clearly it's not ability or a learning disability.

In reading, he read 148 WPM, average is 108

In reading comprehension... not so outstanding- pretty much just below the average.  Which isn't indicative of a PROBLEM just a need for a little more focus.

The boy STILL tells me he likes his teacher.  "She's the BEST!!!" OK... so... then why are you treating her like a babysitter?

The result was that I removed his closet doors from his closet.  Sometimes he goes in the closet to "hide" when he's in trouble.  Also, a bunch of clothes and toys and crap.  So this combination results in the closet doors being forced off the tracks on a weekly basis.  Solution- no more doors.

I took a 2x2 and cut it in half.  The Boy Child's toy-box is an Ikea bookshelf with bins in it.  I fastened the 2x2's across the bins and screwed it to the bookshelf frame.  No more toys.

Ipod, Nintendo DS, etc are now in a small toolbox with a lock on it, in my room.

I took a rubbermaid container and "swept" the entire contents of his desk, into the bin.  This consisted of some broken toys, about 8,000,000,000 pens, markers, crayons, pencils, erasers, etc. and a couple of magazines. Distractions- eliminated.

And, you wonder, after 2 days, what is the apparent result?

No change.  Exactly the same behavior, every day.

Refusing to pick his clothes up off the floor, 3 hours of sitting at his desk NOT doing his homework. Waking up early each morning to NOT finish what didn't get done the night prior.

It's like the boy WANTS to be miserable.  Seriously.

---EDIT---

OH!  I forgot another GEM!

We started the conference with the teacher asking if Boy had told me about the Reflection Paper he received the day before.  Why NO, Teacher lady, please enlighten me as to why the Boy had to write a Reflection Paper... Now Boy child, why have you NOT told me about this? "I forgot"

Remember, though I may SAY things like "Time to beat the children"... I do not, in fact, beat the children. This blog is a place for me to VENT my frustrations while NOT putting the fear of non-god into my precious babies.

Though some days, I do yell more than I like.

Sunday. Bloody Sunday.

Yesterday was the end of the Olympics.

I, personally, am not a fan.  The other 3 members of my family are.

So- with closing ceremonies Sunday night, the children clearly want to watch the entire thing.

I'm not opposed to the children staying up late, past their bed-time of 8:00 weeknights.  The problem is Monday morning.

As I've mentioned, they are usually wrecked on Sunday night.  This week was no different. 

--- oops!  I never finished this one.  "Save to draft" be DAMNED! ---

So they watched the closing ceremonies till 9. They were  wreck the next morning.  It sucked.

Thanks for reading!  :)

It's Teacher Conference Time!

Yes, sports fans, it's teacher conference time.

Now I do realize that many of you have not yet begun the school year.  I get that. So considering conferences already seems a bit bizarre.

Next Tuesday August 28th is conference day for the Boy Child.

---sidenote--- the Girl Child's conferences are today. She did not have a conference scheduled because she is getting all A's except for one 89.6% in Social Studies. ---end sidenote--

The teacher sent home grades today in preparation for conferences.

You all DO see this coming, right?

Like a freight train?

Good then, on with the disaster...

So the Boy is getting a 62% in math.

Every night it's a battle with the Practice work (teacher doesn't call it homework) ALL the Practice work is assigned class time to complete.  Teacher says that half the kids NEVER have homework because they finish it in class. Never. And we battle for 4 hours EVERY DAY to get it done.

<<insert expletives here>>>

It's absolutely draining. 

BUT- back to the 62%.

I downloaded additional practice work for him to do. Because if you are getting a 62%, you need to practice more. 

He first fell on the floor and cried out the favorite cry of children aged 5 to 13... "NO FAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRR!!!!"

Then he collected himself and finished the extra work in about 5 minutes.

Now, dear reader, why, preytell, would this lovely child have a miraculous recovery and finish his homework in such a speedy manner when it is so contrary to the typical behavior of this poor downtrodden soul?

Well obviously because his friends had been knocking on the front door to see if he could play!  At least oh... 10 times? Between knocks and repeated phone calls.  Yep- 10 is right.

SO- even though he doesn't usually give a crap if he has to stay in the house for the entire evening, as long as he DOESN'T have to do his homework, this time he raced through it.  And I checked it.  Then I made him correct his errors.  Which were very few.  And out the door he went.

When you have a 9 year old boy in 5th grade, it absolutely breaks your heart that he is in the house, miserable, not playing with his buddies.  It does!  Totally!  And the boy isn't wanting to sit and play video games.  He wants to play outside. He NEEDS to play outside. --I-- want him to play outside!

So for him to get his PRACTICE work done, AND his extra work done, AND get to go outside... Today did not suck. Magically.

And other tingz-
1) the girl's grades are available in an App. Yes. As in I had to install an app.
2) we have gotten up at 5:30 for the 8:00 bus this week (Monday and Tuesday) because we didn't finish his homework before bedtime
3) the chillrinz go to bed at 8:00 every school night. No. Matter. What. (except that whole "Olympics" thing I mentioned)
4) the Recycle bin did NOT get put out on Monday. Up-side= there was no trashcan in the neighbor's yard either! :D

Yes, Again.

Monday is recycle bin days, Thursday is trash day.

We have 2 big bins with wheels, located behind the gate to the back yard, per HOA regulations.

Boy Child's ONLY chore is to take out the trash, and take the cans to the street, then put them away.

Monday, as he is heading out to the bus stop- "Boy! Please take out the recycle can" So he does.  Well, I see that there is still the bag in the house which needs to go out.  Fine.  I've got it, no big.  Well as I go out, I notice that despite carefully replacing the brick to keep the gate from opening, he has left the Trash can in the middle of the neighbor's yard.

This is his thought- "Well, I'm just going to be moving it again in 9 hours, so why put it back behind the gate, then take it out again just to put the recycle bin away?"

I get it.  You're lazy.

And you don't have any respect for anyone else or any thing.

Luckily, he was still at the curb with the Recycle bin and I could say "Hey, Boy! Why is the treash can in the middle of Judy's yard?" and then he could say "OOOhhhhhhh... I forgot"

Very convenient.

Flash forward to today.

The boy leaves for school. Doesn't close the front door (remember, it's already 90 degrees out at 8 AM so the A/C is on)  Before he is out of earshot, I shout "BOY!  Come back and close the door, for fuck's sake!" (yes. I did.)

He closes the front door. Then I realize- he didn't take the trash to the curb.

I go to the door. He's at the edge of the yard.  I say to him...
Me: "BOY!  Did you notice anything strange out here when you walked out the door?"
BC: "Um... OH!  It's TRASH day!" -immediately.

So he knew it was trash day. He just decided to not do it until I called him on it.  I LOVE that.

On goes the morning, I get the kitchen cleaned up, I get the girl child off to school, and I head out to my car.

There is the MOTHER FUCKING RECYCLE BIN in the neighbor's yard, with the brick carefully replaced in front of the gate.

Good times... good times...

Curriculum night

OK, the boy child is in 5th grade.  His teacher is young, progressive, and very intelligent.  I dig her teaching style.

Basically, she is anti-punishment, divides the class into 3 groups based on work ethic/motivation, and encourages the kids to learn in their own way.

The problem is that my kid thinks this is a blank check to screw around instead of doing his work!

She doesn't assign homework.  She gives "practice work" in class and if it's completed in class, then there is no homework.

SO- if I ask the boy child, "Do you have any homework?" his answer is always "No"

Even if he has 5 pages to do.

Because they are NOT homework, they're just practice work which he didn't finish in class, but needs to finish at home.

It's not CALLED homework. 

This is how my child thinks.

So last night his practice work was the circulatory system. I did the respirator system with him for an hour the night before, so this makes sense.

What does NOT make sense is this-
BC: "She never taught us this!"
Me: "At all?"
BC: "Nooohooooooooo..."
Me: "I find it hard to believe that YOUR teacher would send you home with 2 pages of homework"
BC (interrupting): "But it's NOT homework, Dad! Gahhhh..."
Me (patient): "Ok, PRACTICE work. Whatever. That you have never been taught this?"
BC: "Well, we had Silent Reading time and she said that she forgot to teach it, so we should get out the paper and she would give us the answers to write down."
Me: "OK, so what happened?"
BC: "Well I decided to read instead."
Me: "Well FUCK MY LIFE" (not really)

ALSO it was clarinet getting day.  Went to the music store, rented the clarinet, etc etc.

Since for 3 hours he did not answer one answer on his PRACTICE work, he had to get up at 6 AM instead of 7 to complete it.

Well, at 6:05 my alarm went off and I went to check on him. SURPRISE!  He was dressed! And clearly wide awake.

And playing with his clarinet. That is to say, putting it together and taking it apart, over and over.

Perfect.

BC: "Can I use the netbook d finish my homework?"
Me: "Sure."
---exit Me, to shower and get dressed for work---
--- return Me ---
Me: "Are you done?"
BC: "Um, no- I'm watching videos."

And this is my life

The Olympics

"DAD!!! Why do I have to go to BED?!?!?! I want to watch the Olympics!"

Well son, because although the rest of the world stops spinning, like the news, politics, and Wall Street, you still have to go to school in the morning.

Then to help dull the Olympics pain:

Opening Ceremonies Commentary with pictures
 http://www.tv.com/news/the-insane-fever-dream-that-was-the-2012-summer-olympics-opening-ceremony-photo-recap-29233/

Hannah Hart Drinking Game
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uORgEwl8xG8

HEY! Let's CAMP!

We went camping this weekend.

When I say "we", that includes the children and me. The wifey is not a fan of camping. Especially when you have to take  shovel to go to the bathroom.

Early on Saturday morning we took off.

The morning was quite... tense.  Even though wifey didn't want to go camping, she certainly wasn't going to let us just leave- there were a thousand questions for the children, and whatever they were wearing, was wrong. Too new, too white, too small, to big, etc etc.

Which is to say, then we left.  And when it comes down to it, it was probably a good thing we got wardrobe coaching.

Driving north, and having had to work the night before, the 3 of us collectively determined the menu- then stopped at the store and bought the food.  The drawback was that no prep was done in advance. The advantage was, HOT DOGS. need very little prep ;)

The number of times I heard "Are we there yet" was inconceivable. Really. I have no idea why they were so anxious.  Maggie and I were singing to the radio. Brady was listening to HIS music on his iPod.  So- I now decided that my only reply to that question would be "Yes!" enthusiastically shouted!  I mean, this is a 3 hour trip or less.

Since I really had no idea where I was going, we stopped at the visitor center.

You guys do this all the time, right?  Plan on going camping, then decide where to go about half way there?  We have a regular place we go camping, but it was closed because, um, Bears. Yes. Bears.  3 attacks at campsites this year. Also, that area was still under a burn ban so no campfires.  There were other places I could have gone, but they didn't allow bow and arrows or bb-guns.  So- I solicited ideas from friends and a general idea of where to go.

The drive through Sedona and Oak Creek Canyon was awesome- beautiful.

We got to the general area I wanted to go, so I opened a gate to what Arizona calls "State Trust Lands"and drove in, then we set up camp.

Setting up camp actually went beautifully. The kids each had jobs to do and enthusiastically helped each other.  It was awesome.

Next we went on a hike and went target shooting with the bow and arrow and bb-gun

Then it started to rain.

Then it started to POUR!

Then the tent started leaking. Which was... unexpected.  We have had this tent for a long time. It was cheap. It is HUGE!  And, apparently, it leaks.  I suppose it's a function of the cheap and the old.

The towels I brought to go swimming, were used to mop up the pools forming.

It continued raining. Two hours of downpour and the rest of the night raining and drizzling.

We played Mancala, "In a Pickle", cards, and read.  I have never seen the boy read so much. The girl is pretty much in a book all the time when she's got nothing else to do.  On this trip, the boy TORE through a book.

Then the fighting started.  Well, the horseplay started.  Then the boy got "hurt", and cried. Then got mad. Then got more mad.  As is want to happen in our life.

Rain let up for 45 minutes around 7:30, and we hurried to make a fire and cook dinner. Success!  Dinner and smores. Back in the tent around 9.  The boy fell asleep immediately, Maggie and I read for another half hour then crashed.

I didn't bring a pillow.  I don't know why.  I made the conscious decision not to.  Because I'm an idiot.  So at about 4 AM, with Maggie and I sleeping like crap all night, she ssid "Dad, just share my pillow with me"  I CRASHED after that, till about 7:00 when we all woke up.

Yes. It was still raining.  We hung out a bit, then decided it was time to pack up and head to Flagstaff for breakfast.  Delicious breakfast, nice trip home.  Both the kids slept for the majority of the trip.

So- Go Camping, people. Throw caution to the wind.

Camping is a lot like brewing- you can put a ton of equipment in and put a lot of "barriers" up if you want.  Or you can just go. So- Just go!

Hello world

Some Days Rule.

Why this name for the blog?

Because the other 50 ideas I had were taken. "Sorry, this blog address is unavailable"

Thanks for that, Google.

HOWEVER, this name is better than every other one I tried. So I suppose I should be grateful. It is true- Some days rule. In fact, most days rule. Very few days suck. No, I didn't try the blog address "Very Few Days Suck", but... maybe next time.

My purpose for this blog is to get my thoughts out in a more archived manner than Facebook.  And what more stable platform then Google, who will own the world in a short time?

So I am married to a wonderful woman, I have 1 wonderful daughter, and one son. (see what I did there?) It's not true- he's wonderful too, in his own way.  Which is far more challenging to the rest of the planet than most people.

The Boy child (9 YO) is non-diagnosed. He has been through tests which determined that he is NOT autistic or ADHD. He has his own special version of "special" .  He is intelligent, he is kind, he is gentle.  He gets his mind stuck in this rut, and he is unABLE to get out of it.

Last night, he had to write a "reflection" paper because he was shouting in class rather than raising his hand. Also because he was getting in people's personal space.  So after sitting for 90 minutes and writing one sentence, I decided he could type his reflection paper.  He does better on his assignments typing rather than writing down on paper. One more sentence emerged.

We got up an hour early this morning to work on it, 6 AM rather than 7. The computer performed an update and re-started.  In the middle of the update, Boy child did a force reset. Why? Who knows. He felt like it was taking too long. So screw it, he does what he wants to do. Of course, the computer was effed.

While I attempted to fix it, it was lunch making time.  We are trying to eat healthier, less carbs, etc- and it's a lot of work for me.  Last night we had stir fry for dinner an the kids LOVED it.  This morning, they didn't want it at all. Even though I actually prepped and cooked the "leftovers" separately last night after they went to bed. So there was argung around that.

The boy declared "I'm Done!" and read me the 3 paragraphs he wrote. 2 sentences each. Which is supposed to be equal to a full page of cursive? Yes, he had the font set to 28 point. This is how he works- does as little as possible.

So we wrote more, and he's off to school. Try it again.