Chore Chart Experiment- Day 1

OK, the chore chart has been through its first morning and we're on track.  As a matter of fact, Maggie cleaned out the entire kitchen cart, wiped it out, ad re-organized it so she could get her first "punch" on her card.

Brady gave the fish tank 3x as much food as it needed, but otherwise everything went well.  This is even with his bus schedule moving 10 minutes earlier.  AMAZING!

So- the expectations are there, they are simple to track, and everyone knows what they are ahead of time.

"Hope springs eternal in the human breast..."

The chore chart spreadsheet is here:
Click for AWESOMENESS

OH!  The Punch Card "bonus list" is at THIS link

Chore Day

I saw Pinterest yesterday.

Frankly, I hadn't been there in 3 month, though I love it.

Somehow, I got into a vortex of kids' chores lists.

Today we did chores. Everyone except the boy contributed fairly.

My contribution right now is making a chore list- it's a spreadsheet which is, to be fair, AWESOME.

The bonus part is the punch card.

The children each had birthday parties to go to this weekend, which meant I had to buy presents.  Now, I understand this is part of parenting. HOWEVER, since the children don't contribute enough to household maintenance, I would like to leverage this into a benefit. 

I have added a list of "punch card" items, for which the children can earn punches on an adorable business card (like the ones at the guys' haircut places, but cute) that they keep track of.  When they accomplish one of the tasks on the list, they get a punch on the card.  When ten punches are accumulated, they get $10.

The Girl child is thrilled, and already has 4 cards planned out.

The Boy child is skeptical.

I'm excited!

Can anyone explain?

Why is it that the clothes are such an issue for the boy?

He picks the clothes out at the store.

He has relative freedom to choose his clothes for school

EVERY
   SINGLE
      MORNING
         SUCKS

Perfectly good clothes he chose at the store, he no longer "likes" and with a PILE of clothes in the middle of the floor, I hear "But I can't find anything I want to wear!"

AARGH!!!!

Then the yelling, the crying, and the stress.  Well, actually, all that started about... almost 10 years ago. So I guess if it wasn't the clothes, it'd be something else.

On the other hand,  I was reminded by a friend on facebook-

I just try remembering that.  Every minute.  Remember- --I-- am responsible for encouraging his creativity.

Get dressed, PLEASE!

This is the Boy's M.O.:

1) Wake Up
2) Wrap up in Star Wars Blanket
3) Wander house like zombie for 15 minutes
4) Try to get dressed in the same clothes he wore yesterday

Today, he broke the mold.

First, he came in my room to sleep because he had a bad dream.  (Which wasn't a big deal because BonBon wasn't home last night.) Then he didn't want to wake up.  Then instead of getting dressed he sat in his chair, "pondering" what to wear.

The Boy has this thing about wearing inappropriate clothes relative to the weather. In summer, it's his favorite hoodie and jeans.  For the last 2 weeks, it has been shorts.  Because, of course, it has turned from highs in the 90's to highs in the 70's.  So naturally he'd want to start wearing shorts, right?

Today his choice was also a bit confounding: a long sleeve white button down dress shirt, some green cargo shorts, and electric blue tennies with yellow laces.

Yes, son.  Looking good.

I did get him to change his shorts to jeans.

Must have been my lucky day.

(Recycle bin- still in the street...)

Homeschooling HaHa's

I do not homeschool my children, though I think it makes total sense.  It's just not in the cards for our family.

The Girl child REALLY wants to homeschool.  Keep in mind, she gets straight A's.  She is socially adept and has many friends and is in clubs and activities.  When asked "What do you think about homeschooling?" She practically JUMPED out of her chair BEGGING to be homeschooled.  "We waste SO much time at school. I mean, I could have all that done in two hours if we didn't have to move from one class to the other and deal with sitting down, unpacking our books all the time, kids interrupting and everything"

MY friend who DOES homeschool his kids, posted this on FB for me.  I thought it was so funny, it had to be shared:

1 Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?

2 Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up th

e way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3 Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

4 Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.

5 If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.

6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

7 We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

8 Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.

9 Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.

10 We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11 Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

12 If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

13 Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.

14 Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.

15 Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.

16 Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.

17 Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.

18 If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19 Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20 Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

21 Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.

22 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.

23 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

24 Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25 Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

What to do, what to do...

So, anyone have an answer of what to do with the Boy child?

He is super lazy.  His grades are poor.  He argues and refuses to listen to the most simple of directions. 

"Boy, go play with you friend at the park"
"But there's nothing to do"
 "You're at the park.  Run. Jump. Climb"
"But we're bored"
"That's because you're not running, jumping, or climbing!"
"But we don't want to"
"OK, go get a ball and a stick.  Or your bikes.  Or a frisbee.  Or  a kite."
"UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH It' so BORING!"

If you tell me "He'll be better in 15-20 years. Just be patient" I may kill someone. 

That person is, as of now, undetermined.

Blackberry Users

Plato said "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." This is particularly true if you meet someone using a BlackBerry, perhaps the hardest of all battles. But they don't deserve pity. Around BlackBerry users, we must remember manners, courtesy, and a few basic rules of kindness.

Don't be a snob.

Gadget snobbery is never OK. It's ignorant and obnoxious to tell someone they're a bad person because of a phone (unless that phone is a Galaxy Note). Within the rest of the handset nebula, you should let your fellow man stand by his choice.

But BlackBerry owners are different. They were once a haughty, QWERTY-clutching elite—bankers, lawyers, Illuminati chairmen, Yale professors, and various other broad-jawed goons from the corridors of power. No more. The RIM faithful are the people who got left out of the doomsday vault—the Japanese soldiers still wandering around the jungle waiting to snipe GIs. They're at a point beneath teasing. We need to start giving them sympathy. We have to coexist.

It's probably not their fault.

Your typical BlackBerry user doesn't use it because they want to—they use it because they have to. Maybe their Paleolithic employer probably requires it—it's still a requisite for modern business in someone's faded brain. Or maybe they can't afford a new phone. Or maybe they really, really love a good keyboard, which can't be found elsewhere. Maybe they're chained to a family plan. The point is: They have no other options.

So you can't fault someone for using a BlackBerry, because nobody really wants to be using a BlackBerry. Have you ever made fun of someone for using a wheelchair? Probably not. If you have, you're awful.

Don't ask.

"Dude, you're still using a BlackBerry?"

Yeah, they are, dickhead. You know they are. Highlighting the misfortune of others isn't going to get anyone to make out with you. And a BlackBerry user isn't going to change their ways because of your ridicule. They know they have a BlackBerry. Whatever the reason is, it's their business. When they make a call, just look away, and try to smile.

Don't stare.

Unless it's on a hip-holster, in which case, walk away.

Compliment BBM.

RIM still has one thing going for it: BBM is the best phone messaging system of all time. It makes iMessage look like a poopy diaper. Giving your friend's 'Berry the respect it deserves for instant, reliable phone IMing is a good way to establish common ground. Sample conversation:

You: "Oh, man, I wish my phone had BBM. It's still the best."
Them: "Thanks. But I want to die."

Loan your phone.

When you see someone pushing a busted bicycle along the side of a dark, muddy road, you don't just leave them there. You give them a ride. Open your door—this is a metaphor—and let a BB user borrow your phone for a second. Sample conversation:

Them: "Hey, do you mind if I check the Orioles score? I'm following them in the World Series."
You: "Um, sure!"

Share what luxury you have. Let them use your phone's snappy browser. For a moment, you both feel content. Until they learn the truth about the Flock.

Be sympathetic.

Be understanding. Be generous. Be nice. Because someday, you might be on the bottom rung of the social ladder, still clinging to your hopelessly outdated old iPhone.

Photo: Brian Ach/Getty

User Manual is Gizmodo's guide to etiquette. It appears as if by magic every Friday.